Everything you need for a new baby

I apologize in advance for the non-bilingual post. But this one is a little too lengthy to translate as well.

This post is for couples who are expecting their first baby. There is so much information out there about what you need that it's sometimes easy to ask yourself "what do I really need?" Some people say you absolutely HAVE to have something particular and your favorite aunt tells you that she NEVER used it. Do you really need it? So here are some insights from my own experience and those of some friends of mine. Take it for what it's meant to be, some helpful information. Some people will disagree with me, but please read the explanations included. It will help you to understand my reasoning.

1. Baby bed. It may seem obvious, and I have experience with both a bassinet and a crib. I prefer the crib because it lasts longer. The baby outgrows the bassinet very quickly. If you choose to use the bassinet, go for it. It's adorable and more snuggly for a newborn. If you choose not to, you don't have to. Also, many people choose to co-sleep. That's up to you. (But please do so safely!) If you do, you may think that you don't need a crib because baby will be sleeping with you. That may be, but as the child gets older and more mobile, you won't feel comfortable putting him or her down for a nap unless you're there to watch over them. I would suggest making sure the baby has a place to nap during the day, be that a crib, pack and play, cosleeper, what have you. So, I put this item at the top of my indispensable list. -- I will also include bed accessories here. Sheets and blankets. Don't forget those!

2. Car seat. If you have a car, you will think, "duh!" But even if you don't have a car, this is an indispensable item. Think about how many times people have given you rides places. Now a friend says they'll pick you and the baby up. Don't forget the car seat! It is not safe for a child to ride in a car on your lap. Ever.

3. Clothes. Another obvious one and probably the most fun to buy. Here's a tip, though. When I was pregnant with my little girl, a lot of people gave us clothes that I NEVER used. Most of these were shirts and pants. There are times when you'll want to dress your newborn in shirts and pants, but most of the time, you'll just find them impractical. Newborns don't move much. You mostly have to move them. When wearing seperate shirts and pants, the shirts bunch up under their arms EVERYTIME you pick them up. Annoying. Therefore, I almost exclusively dressed my newborn in onesies and pajamas. I had a few dresses to dress her up (obviously will be something else if you have a boy!) otherwise, she almost never wore anything else. The shift comes when the child can pull themselves to stand. At that point, he or she will slip on a wooden or tile floor in footed pj's. That's when I stopped dressing my baby in one-piece pj's and dressed her in onesies with pants, including shirts when it was too cool to go without. However, at this age, it's also best to allow the child to go barefoot as often as possible. It's been proved better for the child's posture and foot development when they begin walking. So, only shoes for when the child goes outside, maybe two or three pair. More is just superfluous, especially considering how quickly they outgrow them! -- Also clothing-related items. Don't forget that you'll want to put those clothes away! Dresser, clothes closet or wardrobe. It's a necessary item. Also clothing related, but not strictly something to wear, burp cloths. You are going to want them. Babies spit up. It's what babies do.

4. Bottles. When I was pregnant and someone gave me a baby bottle at my baby shower, I first said, "That's okay. I'm going to breastfeed." I was arrogantly sure that I wouldn't need them. However, even if you are able to exclusively breastfeed, you are going to want a few bottles so that you can skip a feeding without your child being very, very hungry. You're going to want to not revolve your entire life around the child sometimes. You can pump or use formula. Your decision. But even if you breastfeed, you will want a few bottles. Since it turned out that I am a very low producer, I also have some experience to share for the bottle-feeding mothers. Unless you want to spend your entire life washing bottles, I would suggest buying enough bottles for at least a day and a half. That will ensure that you only have to wash them once a day even on days where your child is very hungry. For my child, that would be 10. Four large and six small. We also use the small bottles later for juice mixed with water or sometimes water alone.

5. Bottle and other feeding accessories. Bottle brush to clean the bottles thoroughly. Bottle sterilizer I put on the optional list. If you are able to clean them without it, then you don't need it. Your decision. Breast pump if you are able to breastfeed. Breastfeeding pillow to support the baby when breastfeeding. It really helps. Emergency formula for those just-in-case times. Preferably pre-mixed to save time. (I carry around a small bottle with me everywhere I go.)

6. Changing table or other designated changing area. It doesn't have to be an "official" changing table, but somewhere to change the baby is an absolute must. -- Related to that, don't forget to stock up on diapers (cloth or disposable, your decision). Wet wipes to clean up a poopy baby. Diaper rash cream to heal a painful rash. Diaper pail with a lid you can close. Otherwise the smell will eventually overwhelm the room it's in. Baby powder for a chonic rash baby or occasional use on one that's not.

7. High chair. Obviously won't be using this one right away, but when that baby starts trying solids, it's going to be tough feeding them on your lap without getting covered with food yourself. No matter how you choose to feed your baby, they will need their own space to do it. -- Speaking of food flying everywhere, let's talk laundry. Many newborns are sensitive to soaps and dyes, especially if such allergies run in the family. It's a good idea to use dye and perfume free detergents on the baby's clothes for at least the first few weeks. One thing you absolutely can't live without, though, is a good stain remover. That food the baby is throwing around? Yeah, it's going to leave serious stains if you don't have one.

8. Teething stuff. Disclaimer: not all babies teeth badly. Mine did, but not all babies do. If you have a bad teether, though, you're going to want at least one teething ring and teething medicine. The medicine you can find at pretty much any pharmacy.

9. Drug store accessories. These are the kind of things you can find at any drug store, but they're absolutely indispensable. Baby thermometer. Baby nail scissors (those little nails are sharp!). Baby oil (most babies can't handle lotion when they have dry skin). Baby shampoo (so it doesn't hurt them if it gets in their eyes). Baby hair brush / comb (babies have fine hair and the brushes are soft to not hurt their little heads). Baby spoons (with no sharp edges to hurt their mouths). Waterless hand sanitizer. After changing a poopy diaper at the park, you're not going to want to go back to the picnic without at least washing your hands with hand sanitizer.

10. Pediatrician. If you haven't already, ask around which pediatrician near you people like. Some require that you call and ask before making an appointment for your child to be seen. If possible, try and do the research before the baby is born.

11. Diaper bag. The bag itself doesn't have to be special, but you will need a bag to carry diapers, bottles, toys, etc. There's always something else you will need. Make sure the bag is large enough to carry everything you need for a few hours.

12. Camera. Believe me, there will be a million firsts and you're going to want to capture as many as possible on film. A camera that also has the ability to take short videos is ideal.

13. Vacuum. Sounds stupid, but when that baby starts getting mobile and eating solids, you WILL be vacuuming everyday. If you don't have one, get one.

This is the end of what I consider the "essentials" list. There will be more that  lot of other people consider essential, but I don't think that EVERY baby uses them, so I'm putting them on the maybe list. The following is a list of things that some babies might need, but not every baby will use.

1. Stroller. For me, this was an essential because I walk a lot. Baby comes too. If you walk a lot and will want to take your baby you will want a stroller. The best ones are able to change from a pram-style with baby laying down, to stroller-style with baby sitting up. -- A related item is a baby carrier. Another possiblity if you walk a lot. No matter how light your baby is, after 20 minutes of walking with that baby in your arms, it feels heavy.

2. Baby swing. Some babies love it and it's the only way they'll settle down. Mine wasn't ever a real fan unless she wasn't feeling well, so we rarely used ours.

3. Pacifier. Some people will be surprised to see this one so low on my list, but my baby never took it. We were given probably 10 different pacifiers before she was born, but if we put one in her mouth, she just spit it back out. Some children have a strong sucking reflex, though, and need it to calm themselves.

4. Toys. Another one where I'll get funny looks for calling them non-essential. However, children at the age of a baby, don't know what toys are. They think they're fun when they have one in their hand, but they'll play just as happily with daddy's shoe as they will with their stuffed animal. The whole world is one big playground for them. Toys don't become truly essential until they're around two.

5. Baby gate. This one is an essential for some families. If you have stairs, it's essential. I was once in a pediatric wing of a hospital and saw the black eye and lacerations of a 7-month-old who fell down the stairs because the parents didn't think he could make it to the stairs because he hadn't started crawling yet. They're more mobile than you think and you don't want any tragedies. That being said, if you don't have stairs, it might not be essential. We live in an apartment with doors in every room. If we want to keep the baby in, we just close the door. So, this one's essential if you have stairs or any missing doors in the apartment or house.

6. Walker. A baby doesn't learn to walk quicker with a walker. If they like it as much as my baby did, then it might be a good idea, but it's not necessary.

7. Baby monitor. If you have a large house where you can't hear your child if he or she cries, then you need one. Or, if you're a heavy sleeper who might not hear them at night. Otherwise, leaving doors open is just as good.

8. Baby bath support. This is a plastic support to hold the baby in the bathtub. Once the baby can sit up alone, you don't need anything special in the bathtub. And most newborns and small babies can be washed in the sink or can be supported by your arms. Of course, if you want one, it's not a bad idea.

9. Bumpers for the crib. We had some because once my baby could roll, she would roll to the edge of the crib and wake up when she hit the edge. If you have a baby like mine, then you might want one. If not, it's not necessary. We took them off when she started playing with them. I would come in to get her after a nap and find that she had crawled under the bumper....

10. Play mat. As a very small baby before she could move much, my baby loved hers. However, she only loved it for about 4 or 5 months. Then she learned how to crawl and started hating it because the bars that form an arch over the play mat got in her way.

11. Play pen. Some children are okay with staying in a confined area for long periods of time, but mine hated it. It's a good idea if you haven't child-proofed your house yet, but it's a temporary solution, not a long-term practicality.

12. CD-player. My baby is a music lover, so this was an essential for her. But if you have a stereo system in the house or if your baby doesn't care about music very much, you may not want one.

Obviously, this won't be a complete list (especially as I haven't even mentioned medicine almost at all) but it should help you get yourself organized as first-time parents. Don't be nervous. That little baby loves you and they haven't even met you yet! Good luck.